Construction Workers

Derek's Confession

I met Derek (not his real name) back in 2012. We corresponded briefly but lost touch shortly afterwards. We recently reconnected on social media a few weeks ago and have been chatting regularly since. I like Derek. I feel we could chat about anything from work to fetishes to dark sexual fantasies without any boundaries or judgments. We seem to be quite like-minded about a lot of things in many ways.

Recently, he shared with me an extraordinary secret which he kept deep inside for a long time.

"Hmmm...can I share a story with you?” he asked as we were chatting one day. "You may not be comfortable with it but it is something that has been on my mind."

"You can share anything with me. Just shoot." I responded.

"I find it therapeutic to confide in someone else other than my friends on things like this.” he continued. "Treat it like a casual talk with a fellow fetishist. I have not shared this with many people before but I feel compelled to with you. I hope you don’t mind."

My curiosity was piqued. I waited patiently as he typed. I could feel a big story coming up.

"I have been consuming a man's cum from when I was a boy. Since my parents had to work I was put under the care of a caretaker, whose husband was a handsome bodybuilder. I was coaxed into fellating him and consuming his semen for about 3 years. Didn't know that it was wrong at that time, it was just exciting for me because I felt loved."

Wow. I wasn't expecting that at all.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked him.

"No. He was very caring. He was a nice man and would buy me things. And whenever his wife was out, he would bring me into his room and do things to me. I loved him like a father figure in a way. He was a tall, handsome and hairy man."

My eyes were glued to my phone as he continued his story.

"When he first started, he was only exploring my body. Showed me parts of my penis, my balls, the cockhead, and compared it with his. I remember being in awe at his size and his glorious bush. He promised me I would have the same when I grow up.

"He always made sure I was ok. Told me he is going to make me strong like him...taught me manly things, you know. He would touch my dick in a certain way and asked me if I felt any different. I would get hard and he would show me how to masturbate. I came for the first time by his hands. Spurted out clear jizz and I remember feeling good and shocked at the same time. He sucked up all my cum and told me semen is the essence of a man. Never waste it he said.

"So by the time I was 7, I learned about masturbation. He soon taught me how to perform fellatio on him and encouraged me to drink up his seed. When I did as I was told, he would be pleased and would give me warm hugs and treats. He told me that if I was to grow up and become big and strong like him, I would have to drink more seed. He would show me his cock and teach me how to play with it, suck it, and whenever he was about to cum, he would tell me to drink up his semen, so I did.

"I remember his cum was a little fishy and milky tasting. Salty tang and a bit musky but it has a sweet finish. Somedays when I don't feel like swallowing his sperm, he would coax me, telling me I need it to become big and strong like him. And when I did what I was told, he would allow me to sleep in his arms. So I would always try to be a good boy because I loved that.

"It came to a point where I knew exactly how he liked to be pleasured. He was uncut and had a sensitive head and enjoyed it when I slide his foreskin over the glans. He would leak dewdrops and told me he would only do that because he loved me a lot. So I always make it a point to make him leak and cum as much as he could. I wanted him to love me just as much."

Derek paused for a moment. He asked if all this was all too much for me and if I thought any less of him.

"Of course not," I said, "I'm just sorry that this happened to you."

My heart was racing. I didn't quite know what to make of this revelation. Was I offended and put off by Derek's candid revelation? Far from it. If anything, I was intrigued and if I was being totally honest, rather turned on by his candour.

I remember being exposed to sex at a very young age (must have been around the same age) and experiencing something I shouldn't have. And for some reason, Derek's story has brought me back to the time when I discovered my dad's porn video by accident, thinking it was some cartoon. I remember being traumatized by what I saw, feeling guilt, shame and excitement all at the same time. Though my experience might not be quite the same as Derek's, I know what it's like to lose one's innocence at such a tender age and not having the maturity to handle something like this. Perhaps all these made me become this sexual freak that I am today.

"So," I finally replied, "during your session together, do you remember if he said anything in particular to you?"

I could see Derek typing back a response.

"Oh yeah. He would hold and squeeze me tight to his body and would moan 'daddy loves you' and 'good boy' as he climaxed." he wrote. "Normally, he would address himself as uncle. But when he does this thing with me, he would call himself daddy. So I was always a bit confused." 

"I'm curious about one thing though." I texted back. "His wife was the primary caretaker, right? Where was she the whole time when all these happened?"

"Well, after she puts me to nap," he began, "she goes for her regular mahjong session each afternoon - which is when all the cum feedings would happen," he responded matter-of-factly.

“He was always very careful to tell me that this was our little secret and made me promise to not tell anyone. The thing is, for a very long time, I didn't think what happened between us was wrong. Because deep down inside, I really enjoyed those encounters - which made it very conflicting for me of course. I mean, I know what he did to me was wrong but it didn't feel wrong - do you know what I mean?" he confessed.

I get it - Stockolm Syndrome. It's more an emotional response rather than a rational one. I can see how that could happen to Derek, given his circumstances. I don't know what it's like to be in his shoes but I can only imagine what it must be like for him to go through something like this alone.

Derek mentioned that he has lost friends along the way when recounting the experience to them. They felt disgusted at the fact that despite what happened, he seemed to enjoy the bond and intimacy he had with this man.

"That was what made it difficult I suppose. If I were to be truthful, at that time, I enjoyed the intimate times. Like a dad is teaching a son how to become a man. In a twisted way, I did learn a lot about my own body through him." he revealed.

"My dad was usually at work. He was a disciplinarian. I was a feisty child and would get into all sorts of trouble. He used to cane me till my scars showed and my teacher made a police report once cause she saw the marks on my body. He wasn't a bad man, but we were poor at that time and he was under a lot of stress having to make ends meet and raise a family. I mean, I understand all that now but back then, I felt very vulnerable. So you can imagine how good it felt to be 'wanted' and 'loved' by a man who was like a father figure to me.” Derek added.

Again, I could relate to this - neglected child, craves for attention, gets into trouble. I, too, was a restless child who would destroy things around the house to keep myself entertained because I would often be left alone at home for long hours. My father used to cane me so hard that I couldn't go to the bathroom for days. It sounded all too familiar.

“When my family finally moved out to the city, I was devastated." Derek admitted. "I felt like I lost my papa bear. I remember crying to go back to Nana’s (babysitter) house. Not that I miss her, but I miss him."

I have no doubt that Derek knows what uncle did to him was wrong. But the fact that he still misses the bond and intimacy with this man despite what he has done to him is perhaps the greatest challenge for Derek as an adult man. And for the longest time, he punished himself constantly trying to atone for that feeling - a common thing for survivors of abuse.

"You know none of this is your fault right?" I asked him.

"Yes, and I'm working on it." Derek replied.

Child abuse is a serious issue, and a very complex topic. I am just grateful that whatever happened to me as a child, I was never a victim of that. What happened to Derek was very unfortunate and would certainly never stop shaping him as a person, but I admire his courage and honesty in opening up and dealing with his feelings in this difficult situation. And despite all that, Derek has done well for himself - a professional in his field, well-spoken and most of all, a survivor. All he needs now is a bit of faith and hope to keep moving forward.

Resting Feet

Would he even notice if I went over and sniff those manly uncle feet?

What do you think?

Pink like the tongue that goes down