Living on the Down Low

I've been watching this series on YouTube called "The Down Low Chronicles" which is an independent series about closeted gay black men in America living double lives.

"Living on the down low" is an American slang used to describe the men who identify themselves as straight but have sex with other men. 

First off, the men are totally hot in the series. Most, if not all of them, are eye-candies. 

Secondly, the script is very well executed. From the characters to the scenarios, the story is well-put together without being flippant. The actors, most of them straight, did a commendable effort in portraying the struggles, desires and denials which their characters faced. Something many closeted 'straight guys' would be able to identify with.

"Living on the down low" is quite a common phenomenon in this part of the world, especially amongst the Malay and Indian community. I know of many married guys who enjoy having sex with other men but are married with wife and kids or in a serious relationship with a girlfriend.

After watching the series and having met a handful of these 'down-low' guys myself, I can say that while we live in the age of social media where society is a lot more open in terms of gay awareness and acceptance, coming out the closet is often not an option for these people.

They either:-

1. Come from very conservative or religious backgrounds where homosexuality is regarded as a sin or perversion,

2. Don't consider themselves gay because they don't perceive themselves as being soft, effeminate or flamboyant, hang out at dance clubs, do drugs and sex parties.

3. Need to carry on the family name since they are the only son in the family.

Whatever it is, they find themselves struggling to come to terms with their sexual identity and often regard their desire to have sex with men as nothing more than just an outlet to fufill their sexual urges.

I think the biggest problem for these 'down-low' guys is not that they're having sex with other men behind their wives' back, but the fact that they choose to practice unsafe sex because they think HIV is a gay disease.

Personally, I've known a few married men who are HIV positive through the practice of unsafe sex with other men. They seem to think that if they only have gay sex once a while, they won't risk catching HIV. And then they go home to their spouses and infect them with the virus too.

Choosing to ignore or deny the truth is not an excuse. The truth will always come to light at some point whether you like it or not. If we continue to live in a lie, we may lose something far greater than our integrity.

There are a lot of online resources on sexual identity and awareness as well as support groups out there. Educate yourself and live responsibly.

Recommended reading: The DL Dude